When Rachel met Tom
“I-I just want to be married again!” said Ross.
And then comes walking in Rachel, drenched-to-the-boot in her wedding gown.
Of course, a lot of thoughts would have rushed into the peeping Tom listening in on the gang’s conversation: “Is she an angel sent for him?”, “Did she just escape her own wedding!?”, or “Man! That tiara would go well in my collection!”
It is natural for us to see and judge—and to take things at their face value. It comes from our need to categorize any information given to us. Surely, even Adam would have judged Eve (and vice versa) the first time they saw each other!
However, what we need to remind ourselves, from time to time, is the old saying: ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover!’ Try to look beyond all the high walls and smokescreens that cover a person and focus on understanding their content instead!
If you’re wondering how, then fret not, cus’ I gotcha! I’m going to walk you through the process of… just looking at things and not drawing conclusions just yet.
We are so used to finding familiarity in new things. As soon as we see someone wearing glasses, we think of our other friend who also wears glasses. The key, here, is not to stop that thought: Let the thought flow, then get past it. We’re going to get to know the person, despite our initial judgment. See the eyes beneath those glasses. See how they differ from your friend’s. How they sparkle differently under the same light… Observe individualistic traits about the person you just met and try to build your connection on that. Like Monica did, with Joey.
Remember their first meeting? Oh God, that was such a mess!
Anyway, keeping Rachel and her squad aside, I’m glad that first impressions are not final. We still have plenty of time to make a Harvey Spect-aculor move and sweep the crowd off their feet!
Here, I have some tips to create a positive, long-lasting impression!
- We think we need to get an expensive wardrobe to stand out, but that isn’t true. We’re more likely to leave a good impression by just wearing what we have (well, maybe you could iron that shirt a little, Joe!)
Even simple clothes, if worn with confidence, stand out!
- Many of us get damn nervous when it’s time to introduce ourselves. After all, it can make or break our first-ever impression, right? But don’t worry! Worrying too much about how we come off is too stressful. Pull a Phoebe, let’s take it easy!
- Have you tried affirming yourself? Sometimes, saying something like “mirror mirror on the wall, I’ll get up even if I fall. And if I stammer, stumble or fall, I know I can do this and I’ll get ’em all!” out loud, helps!
- There’s a lot we can learn from this old saying, “Smile when you still have teeth”. Flaunt it like you mean it, guys!
- Just let loose! Don’t stress about leaving a really good impression cus’ a different version of us exists in the minds of everyone that knows us, and there’s nothing we can do about that but embrace it 🙂
So yeah, if you’ve come this far, you probably already know that first impressions are important, but they are not everything. And it’s definitely not worth our sanity! We never know what someone is growing through. As cliche as this sounds, let’s not judge people based on what little we know or see.
To quote Bill Nye, “Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t”. So, how about we get to know them?