“Judgemental” that’s what we call people that come up with snap opinions about others. But have you ever thought about the judgments you make every day?
When you meet a stranger on the train home or on your daily bus route, do you often think up stories on who they are & what they do? Are these stories sometimes not the kindest? Do you make snap assumptions about people & immediately decide they’re a certain way.
Now here’s the deal. You don’t actually know a thing about these folks & for all you know, everything you thought may be wrong. So even if you thought of yourself as a non-judgemental person, you are just a little.
It isn’t your fault. You’ve been conditioned to make these assumptions about people. You’ve seen examples in television, education & probably in the conversations you’ve had with adults growing up, & these have helped form an opinion in your mind.
It forms a sort of bias in your mind. Eventually, you are so conformed to this bias that you only notice the instances where your bias is proved right & often ignore the anomalies. This is a variation of what is generally called the confirmation bias.
But hey! It’s nothing you can’t fix. And we’re here to cheer you on as you try to make this switch.
There’s no one real cure to this problem but there are several things we can all do every single day to become mindful individuals who are open to all the wonders that people bring with them.
The next time you find yourself making a snap judgement about someone, stop yourself. Be aware of the fact that you are creating a persona that matches your preconceived notions.
When we make judgements about others, they are usually rooted in ideas that have been instilled upon us over the years. Try & identify the source of this idea. Figure out the reason behind your thoughts. Once you’ve gotten a hold of that, think about its validity. Is it still the norm? Is it unreasonable? Does it have a rational basis? If not, you already know that you ought to be giving people a second chance.
Now that you’ve put that aside, you can get to know the person. Speak to them with an open mind, focus on who they are, listen well & see them for who they truly are. If you do not have the opportunity to get to know these people, maybe just observe them. A lot of the judgements we make can be washed away when we simply take note of how a person behaves. People have a wonderful way of proving us wrong. Who knows… you may even find a best friend in the person you least expected.
If you find yourself being judgemental more often that not, note down your thoughts & ideas. Keeping a consistent account of these thoughts can help you identify patterns & eventually solve the issue at its root. You could also go out & meet lots of people from varied backgrounds. The more people you meet, the more you see people for the unique, exemplary creatures they are! Accept the weird ones, become one with them & you may even find something unique in you.
Once you’ve gotten a hang of it, you’ll find that you have become more mindful, a person with so much love to give away & a million people to share your joy with!
But the journey to “non-judgemental land” doesn’t end there. The most important stop is yet to come. Learning not to judge yourself too harshly. Unfortunately, this is a habit that most of us have cultivated over time & practice every single day without even realising. So maybe while we’re trying to love others a little more, we could also focus on loving ourselves a little better. Let’s go easy on ourselves & give ourselves a better chance at finding peace. Accept yourself for who you are, embrace the quirks that make you who you are & work on the flaws that would make you a better person.